Redefining Ambitious
What does it mean to be ambitious. Movies show us how a savvy, low ranking person uses their wit to navigate the world into a position among the upper ranks. Their hard work pays off and they end up at the top. King Arthur wasn’t noble, but he had the right stuff in him to pull that sword out of the stone to rise to the top. Raising ourselves up is part of the American dream. Work hard and you’ll get ahead. But what does ahead mean?
I went to college for business so I could get a good paying job where I could prove myself and move into management and keep working hard until I became a senior leader. I know plenty of others with the same goals. They and I are considered ambitious, we wanted to achieve more, to be successful. I don’t want to generalize, but from my observations, success is seen as gaining power and money. I wanted to be successful so I thought those were the two things I needed. As defined, ambition is the desire and determination to achieve great things.
But what are those great things? Do all politicians need to want to become president to be ambitious? Do all businessmen have a goal to become the CEO? If not, are they no longer ambitious?
What I recognize now is great things are subjective. Getting a raise is nice, but not great. Great was holding my daughter for the very first time. Being promoted into management felt good, but it was insignificant compared to watching my wife as she walked down the aisle or the memories we’ve made since our wedding day. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize ambition in the traditional sense doesn’t make sense for me. I don’t want to spend the majority of my life chasing titles and raises. I want to spend it making something truly great. Spending time with family so I can enjoy the small things that turn into big memories.
This past weekend my brother got married. I created many great new memories this weekend, but it was also a reminder of where it all started. Being his best man, I gave a speech and shared a story from when we were little. He did the same for me when I got married and at the time he shared a memory I had forgotten about but was significant to him.
When we were little my brother had a lot of ear infections and as a result had trouble hearing which caused him to have a slow start to speaking. His word formation was behind, but I could understand him. I became his translator until he was able to talk for himself. He remembered that and thanked me for it. I shared a story about how we would do chores together and I would end up doing most of the work while he slowly cleaned and played along the way. As I was writing my speech I came up with a half dozen stories, but I stuck with this one because of the significance to me. It was a reminder to slow down and appreciate what is in front of you. He didn’t care about a completely clean room, he enjoyed what was in it. That is something my brother knew from a young age and I see that in him still. It’s something I am not good at. I struggle to slow down enough to appreciate the here and now. I always look ahead at what is next. That drive helps me keep moving but I also miss out on today because I’m worrying about tomorrow and I need to learn to slow down.
I want my kids to have stories like I do. In the summer time my brother, dad, and I would ride our bikes down to the park close to our house. This particular park had a half dozen small ponds with a few streams connecting them and one day we were taking a break under the shade of a big willow tree. This tree was really cool because it would drape all around us and open up with a full view of a pond that would be full of lily pads in the late summer. One evening we were sitting there and as the air cooled bugs began coming out and landing on the water. Suddenly the surface was full of activity as the fish started jumping for their evening meal. That gave my dad an idea. He rigged up our bikes with some ropes so he could attach fishing poles to them and he taught us how to fish, catch and release, out of those little ponds. It was fun, we got exercise, we learned how to tie knots, how to catch fish and release them from the hook without injuring them, and most importantly, we spent time together. Time that we will always have but can never get back. I’m thankful that my dad spent that time with us instead of a million other things he could have done.
I used to want to climb the corporate ladder. I never knew what that climb would cost. The stress, long hours, and burden of work that comes home is hard to bear. Now I dream of a life where my woodworking and writing are all I need to keep my family financially secure so I can be fully present for them. I want to grow my woodworking and writing skills. I want to become the best furniture maker I can be. I may not be the best in the world, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is knowing I did my best to build a special piece that will be loved. And I want to be able to share my stories and ideas as best I can.
Ambitious? Maybe, maybe not. But I have a strong desire to achieve these great things.
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